Remembering
by Chickedy-pea
Summary: What happens to Billy and Jenny after they return to the lives they tried to escape? Billy and Jenny don't remember anything, all they know is that they are drawn to each other, but as they start to remember their feelings deepen full sum inside
1. floating

**Disclaimer- I own nothing, the characters and ideas belong to Laura Whitcomb, all I own is the plot for this fanfiction. **

_**A/N Just a random idea when I was re-reading, because I really like the idea of Billy and Jenny having a happy ending. So here it is, this is chaptered, but I'm not sure how many there will be or when it will be updated, I am very busy at the moment. But here is the first enjoy,**_

_**Full Summary**_

_**Just an idea of Billy and Jenny's story. What happens to them after James and Helen left their bodies and they return to the lives they tried to escape? It starts with Billy and Jenny outside their bodies, what did they do? Who did they watch? Billy finds Jenny by accident and ends up watching her but when she suddenly leaves her body Billy tries to find her to get her to go back to her body or to speak to her he doesn't know, but he can't see her, so instead is forced to face his own troubles. But when Billy and Jenny return to their bodies they don't remember anything, all they know is that they are drawn to each other, but slowly they start to remember, and as they remember their feelings deepen yet their lives still aren't perfect and they have to face the world and the people who are against them. **_

**Billy**

This sucked. I fucking overdosed to get away from this shit, this world, this life, all I wanted was nothing, some peace and quiet, some numbness, instead I'm floating, watching the world. At first I thought it would be ok, I'm not living it, I've escaped, but watching is worse. I can see everything clearly. With the haze of smoke no longer clouding my eyes, I can see Mitch, never realised he worried about me so much, and I can see mom.

I don't want to sit by her side anymore I've sat here ever since it all happened; I can't smell the sterile room or the slight whiff of mouldy flowers, or feel the hard seats but the affect is the same, the walls still seem too close, the air seems too still. Her glassy eyes reflecting the world are still the same. The hard consuming grief and anger are still the same, only now I'm powerless to act, I can only float, drifting through corridors and people, truly invisible.

I always wanted to be invisible, didn't want the teacher to see me, didn't want my good for nothing father to see me, didn't want Mitch to see me, or maybe I didn't want to see them. I didn't want to face the disappointment, the fear and hate or the guilt. I only wanted to see one person, because that person could make everything better, but I didn't really want to see them, because what if they blamed me too?

This sucked. Walking through walls really was odd, I didn't feel the wall, yet I didn't not feel it either, it was all really odd, and I had hallucinated some odd shit as well. I remember what happened yet not quite how it happened. I went home, took everything I could find, willing the pain to go away, to finally get some peace and I felt it, everything became light I started to float as my body convulsed, and then there was a rush, and I was outside my body, looking down, just looking, I couldn't move I couldn't breathe. I couldn't do anything even when I regretted it, something held me back like a glass wall, I felt like I was being called back by someone, someone who cared, but I couldn't get to my body, something was holding me back. Then it was too late, my body was taken to hospital and when it woke up someone else was in it.

I watched them for a while; they seem nice, better than me. Mitch won't fall into an early grave now he has a brother who isn't a complete dick. But I don't want to watch them now, I can't. I need to see something completely different, something that is so far away from my old life it seems like a different world.

That house looks good. Looks clean and tidy, so clean I think they measured every single blade of fucking grass. A light shines in a couple of the rooms through the curtains, not welcoming, but then why would this clean house welcome me? I don't need inviting in anyway, I slip through the wall into a light hallway decorated with flowers, the kind you could find in a church, religious family, should of guessed. I could hear pots in the kitchen and a low voice speaking on the phone, both of which were boring. I was going to leave, find a proper family, the kind you see on T.V you know, mom, dad, 3.2 kids who sit and eat a chicken dinner every night and talk about how great everything is. But something stopped me, I don't know what it was but something drew me up the stairs and to one door, a door with Jessica written on it.

I was not going to enter, I wanted to see a perfect family, I didn't want to perv on some girl, who was probably boring anyway, if the neutral colours and emptiness of the house was anything to go by. She was probably reading the God-damn bible anyway. So why was I slowly walking through the door?

I knew her. Jenny was what they called her in at school. She was the type that went to church, went to bible classes at lunch on Thursdays, and got straight A's in everything, basically was a boring goody-toe shoes, that I usually ignored. But I couldn't ignore her now. There was no way and it was nothing to do with the fact that she was naked. I mean I couldn't see anything, she was curled up, knees to her chest head down, her golden hair loose and flowing down her sides, she was still and quiet, a sudden peace settled over me as I stared at her. Who would have thought, was this some sort of religious thing?

A blinding white light spilt the air and I jumped at the loud click that came with it. She moves her hand reaching for something, I look away. Jesus, I lose my body but I gain some sort of morals and conscious? I mean come on! Here was a naked chick that couldn't see me but I was looking away? But it seemed wrong to look, not like that anyway. She wasn't just a chick. There was something about her that I understood, something that I couldn't see before, something I don't think anyone saw.

She was like me. Not a disgusting excuse of a human like me, but hurting like me, she was confused, repressed, escaping using the forbidden, like me. Yet she did it with art, I look over the small pile of square photos that sat on the floor as she slips into sensible high necked, suffocating night clothes. She was beautiful, her naked body real, revealing everything to the world, the true her, she was stripped bare of the facades of the fake faces she put on every day. The pale flesh tones making her seem more vulnerable than ever, and I felt torn, part of me felt a connection that I had never felt with anyone before, and part of me felt like I was intruding. A thin wrist moves and a pale hand flicks up the photos, quickly hiding them away, in secret compartments and under clothes. I smile and chuckle, yeah she was like me. How many stashes did I have?

I watch as she sighs, her eyes dark and sad as she leans against the draw she had just pushed in and rubs her arms, then her eyes dart to the clock sat on her dresser and she gasps and moves, quickly rushing to her chair and picking up a magazine. Its then that I hear the footsteps.

"Hey puppy" It's a man, her father, I dislike him on sight. He looked like one of those men who liked to control everything; "do as I say not as I do" kind of instructions. "Time for bed"

"Yes Dad" He comes in, places a hand on her head and kisses her forehead, each action controlling, I want to reach out and rip his hand from her head, I want to pull her up and out of the his house, I want to- stop thinking of the impossible. I have no body, and no chance of getting it back, even if I could I shouldn't, Mitch was better off without me and what could I do for this girl? I was not a hero that was for sure, she had a family, not a great one admittedly but she was safe, safe from people like me and she was better off for it. Why did I suddenly care anyway?

I shouldn't, that's what and I'm going to leave, no point looking for some perfect family now it's too late, might as well go back to Mom, at least I knew how I felt when I was around her, I didn't around Jenny. Around her I felt... mixed up was the best way to describe it. But I don't leave instead I watch her as she slips into bed, as her mom comes to read to her, I watch her as she stares up at the ceiling in the darkness and cries silently. She was angry, scared and confused and yet she gave me more peace than I had ever felt.

This really sucked.

_**A/N Here's the first chapter, short and not great but the ball is rolling now, second chapter is in the making but I'm about to fall asleep so it shall be posted tomorrow, next day at the latest. Things are going to skip slightly, Jenny's P.O.V next then I think it will be the bathroom scene and then well, whatever I write. Chapters will get longer. **_


	2. Leaving

**Disclaimer- I own nothing, the characters and ideas belong to Laura Whitcomb, all I own is the plot for this fanfiction. **

**Chapter two- Leaving**

**Jenny**

I can't stand one more family evening, but that is what I am heading home too. The school is crowded with students, my age, laughing and joking, pushing and shoving their way through the corridors desperate to get out and have fun. I'd rather stay here, at least in school I didn't have to see my dad smiling smugly, thinking he's being so secret, or mom as she slowly bows down to his every word, at least here I don't have to see how my life changed in one second. Just that one-

"Ow" I groan quietly as I bounce off the locker I had just been shoved against.

"Sorry, didn't see you there, are you ok?" I look up at the deep unfamiliar voice and into a pair of large dark eyes, one of which was covered by a lock of shiny brown hair.

"Yes fine thank you" I knew him, but he didn't seem to know me, but when I say I knew him, I mean I knew off him, Billy was his name I think, I only found that out recently, when news of the trial came up, but I knew of him before then. I had always seen him in the corridors, at lunch, or slumped in the library, my eyes always drawn him. He was everything my parents hated, not Christian, or at least not an active one, his appearance was not clean cut, the shaggy hair the scruffy jeans and t-shirts, and he was a druggie.

"Are you sure?" He asks. He didn't seem the type to ask if you were alright. But then I had only looked I had never spoken to him, or maybe he was cleaning his act up, I had heard that he had over dosed last week. This must be his first day back.

"Yes" He nods then turns and leaves, I watch his back as he shoves through the crowd, rubbing my arm before slowly trudging through the crowds myself, picking up the odd snippet of gossip I shouldn't be listening too. People never thought to stop talking around me, I was quiet and a strong Christian I would never ever spread or listen to gossip. I don't know why, I'm still a teenage girl, I wouldn't spread it, as I have no one to talk to, the kids at my church are nice but they don't understand, they never did and now, I really can't look at them. Not when I'm questioning everything I've been told.

How could he do it? I thought he loved mom, how could he sleep with another woman like that! I had seen them, embracing each other during a stolen moment, then preaching to me the next. It was not till that moment that I realised I had never once truly thought for myself. I had been dragged along, shaped and moulded into the "perfect" daughter. The two times I had done something I wanted to do, expressed myself, I had been forced to quit, no they had tried to trick me into thinking that I was the one that wanted to stop ballet, not them, then they burned my photographs. Not all of them, but most of them, I was no artist, I've never been able to practise my skills but to burn my photographs-

"Hey Puppy" My dad says as I quickly hop into the van, and fasten my seatbelt. I don't want to look at him so I look out of the window.

"Hi Dad" I spot Billy again, my eyes zeroing in on him, he was unlocking his bike, the muscles in his back clearly seen through the thin weave of his shirt. "Where's mom?"

"She has a headache"

"Oh"

"Good day at school?" He asks as he starts the engine.

"It was the usual" I answer not really interested in conversation.

"The usual?" His tone clearly tells of his displeasure at my answer but I don't care, I was watching Billy as he flicked his bag over his shoulder and round his back. His hair was blowing in the breeze, giving me a clear view of his beautiful face. I knew I shouldn't think like this, not only because I was not able to date till next year, but because I could never date him, my parents would allow it, Billy wouldn't be interested in a girl like me and well, we were too different, he was free and wild, I was stuck in a cage. And I honestly couldn't cope with the drugs, it scared me, there was a part of Billy that I was drawn to but then there was the side that scared me, but... no still drew me to him, his darker side; the side of sin.

"Who are you looking at?" Dad leans over to my side as if to get a better view, but it was just one of his usual techniques, of making sure I knew he was in command.

"Just some people" I answer hoping to avoid the subject.

"Just some boy" My dad growls lowly, I hear the anger. "You know very well that you cannot date till next year and even then that boy would never be allowed"

"I know" I answer honestly, only just keeping the bitterness out of my tone. I know but was I not allowed to look!

Family night was tense, the air was thick and they were both unbearable. The little actions each of them do to repress me, the little actions they each do to each other, to control or to cling, drive me mad. I don't want this anymore, I can't stand it!

My room looked perfect to the ordinary eye but to mine I could see the slight rumple in the bed sheet, the hastily gathered papers stacked on my desk, one draw slightly open. One of them, Mom probably had been searching my room again. Checking for photographs or unapproved of material. I rush to my bottom draw feeling my heart hammering in my chest as I drop to my knees, and with numb fingers fumble for the secret bottom, I feel the sharp sting of a paper cut and sigh in relief. They were still there.

Could they not trust me! I did nothing wrong! I lived the way they wanted me too, I try over and over again to forgive my dad for what he has done they way I should but I can't. I'm angry at him, and angry at mom for not seeing it, I'm angry for the kids at school who think I'm invisible or some sort of freak! I'm angry at myself for being so blindly led. What did I think? Do I even believe in God? As I think this thought my heart starts to hammer loudly and my blood roars in my ears, I have never thought about this and the fear that came with it was extreme. I feel tears sting my eyes. If I didn't- then my whole life everything would change even more, how- no what- oh God.

No I tell myself, no I believed in something, like right now. I feel there is someone or something with me, looking over me keeping me safe. But I don't know, I don't want to face it anymore, I just want some time to float away and think things through, or not, just escape for a while. It is then that I kind of understand why Billy took drugs, I heard they made you feel like you were floating or dreaming or just nothing, at the moment I wanted to feel that more than anything.

"I'll be back late, work with Steve"

"Ok"

I hear the door slam shut and I want to feel nothing more than anything. Then I do. There is a rushing sound then I'm looking down at my body lifeless on my bed, I'm floating upwards, I see a shadow in the room- no a person, dark hair and dark eyes...

**Billy**

"Shit! No! Don't fucking do it." I can feel her leaving her body, I want to tell her to stop that you can't go back if you do this, trust me I tried. But she can't see me, can't hear me. But I also want to talk to her properly, I said I wouldn't told myself that I wasn't interested in a girl like that, but every night I left mom's side and came here. I watched her, that's all, now and then I would reply to her grumbles, and I would occasionally say the odd thing to her, not much but she couldn't hear me and it felt better talking out loud to someone that to myself. Tonight, I had watched her cry and felt helpless and powerless. But before I had started to feel lighter, less angry- but no. Now she had to go and fucking leave her body! But the worst thing is I can't see her, I saw her leaving floating upward, but now, now I can't see her.

Fear flashes through me and I move, quickly through the walls and outside, my eyes searching the night, nothing. I felt my heart, even though I don't have one beating and a sudden pang of loneliness so strong that I fall to my knees. I have to find her.

**A/N Don't know when the next chapter will be but there will be a next one. Chapter teaser, meeting in the flesh!**


	3. Meeting

**Disclaimer- I own nothing, the characters and ideas belong to Laura Whitcomb, all I own is the plot for this fanfiction. Anything in italics is quoted directly from the book.**

**Chapter three- Meeting**

**Billy**

"_Hey"_ There was that girl Jenny- Jenny damn what was her surname? Anyway Jenny, hardcore Christian, A+ student, completely boring. No wait that doesn't feel right, my head aches and I feel like I'm about to puke. She wasn't boring- but she was I-

"_Do you remember me?"_ He voice was husky and sweet. Hurt, she was hurting like me. The though hits me like a truck and it takes me everything I've got not to gasp with the thought. But I had to be wrong. I didn't know the girls surname and I know for a fact I have never spoken to her.

"_Sure you go to my school"_ I answer instead keeping my voice even, and free from emotion.

"_You don't remember anything else?"_ Her brown eyes looked sad. Not eyes I was used to. Wait what? I thought I was free from all the drug shit, but I felt like I was tripping.

"_Your name's Jenny something"_ I say hearing my voice crack, Jesus, keep it together. Then it hits me. What if she was here about the trial? Was she a mate of the girl. God I hope not, I didn't think she was. Jenny hung in a different crowd, if she had a crowd that is. I don't remember her being close to anyone. Like me now_. "is it about the trial?"_ My voice cracks again. Fuck.

"_No"_ Thank God.

"_Did you want anything?"_ So, not about the trail. Did she want anything; tell me she didn't buy from me! I had nothing completely clean, the house and me. I feel a rush of pride. Oh yeah- not the time.

"_I needed to see whether you were okay"_ Eh? _"We used to be close"_ We did? When? Oh then-

"_We did?"_ My voice was a little too high for my liking but she didn't seem to notice anything _"I got pretty messed up I don't remember everything"_ I didn't there were a couple of weeks that I have no memory of. I remember over dosing then nothing. Not till last night when I seemed to come back to myself and that was in some strange ass dream. I seemed to be floating above my body before I then kind of went back into it as this other dude came out. Fucking freaky but then I guess that's what drugs do.

"_It's all right"_ She didn't seem alright she seemed to be close to tears. Crap what was I suppose to do crying girls was new to me.

"_Sorry for whatever I did"_ I hear myself saying. And I really was, but her back was too me and was walking quickly away. My heart thumped heavily and I felt a cold loss take over me. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Hey Billy you going to stare off into space all day or you going to hand me the fucking spanner?"

"Fucking spanner" I answer smiling at Mitch, it was good to finally be back. Back? What the hell?

**A couple of hours later**

"Hey thanks for helping, it's good to have you back to normal. Not that you've ever been normal but that last couple of weeks you had manners!" Mitch barks a laugh out and I smile back after punching his arm.

"Yeah yeah" I hope he couldn't tell I didn't remember the last couple of weeks.

"But you shouldn't have acted like that with the girl"

"Girl?"

"Yeah the blonde who came round this afternoon, I might have been under the car but I ain't deaf, the girl who you also brought home one lunch and slept with" Anger caused the last words to be growled. I felt my stomach drop and cold fear ripped through my body. I slept with her?

"Yeah you don't remember?" I had spoken the last words out loud without meaning. Shit! Mitch's eyes narrow in a look I remember well. Shit! Shit! Shit! "What the hell have you taken and where the hell did you get it!" he moves to grab my collar but I duck out of the way.

"When did I I- erm when did that happen?"

"Not long ago" Mitch near growls "now tell me-"

"Where does she live?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"Shit!" I shout before sprinting through the house. I run into my room, it was neater than I normally left it. I had also had sex in this room! I- I can't believe it! Was it safe? Was it good? No stop thinking about this I needed to remember. I throw my pillow across the room and then I see it. A small square. A black and white picture, over exposed, me and her, shoulders naked but more than that we looked happy. I looked happy. I looked like a stranger. I haven't looked that happy for a while. I run out of the house, grab my bike before racing off down the street. Only one thought in my head as my body shook. I have to find her. I didn't even question where I was going. I seemed to know the answer to that.

**Jenny**

I can see my body. I panic. I don't want to die. I knew there was someone in my body and I knew what had happened. Mom was a mess down stairs and dad had left. I didn't really want to get back in my body as then I would never fine the body with the brown eyes that I saw the night I left my body. But I really didn't want to die.

_Go! Take the body I can't get through again. You have to. _

It was a women's voice it seemed to call to me but there was no one but me and my body slowly drowning. I think of the how mom would be if I were to die and don't think I move towards me body and-

I can't move! Why can't I move? My body is heavy and water was slowly tickling up my face I panic kicking out I open my eyes and see a woman briefly but then it was dark again. The water rising once again. No fight! I had to fight. I force my body back under my control and kick out push up and then I'm up the water no longer brushing my face. I feel my lungs burn and I try to breathe but all I can manage is coughing. I cough and gag and then my stomach tilts and I empty it. Pills float in the bath water and I look in horror. Why had I done that? Why had I tried to kill myself? Dad was having an affair but that didn't mean I would kill myself. I pull the plug my fingers numb. My head hurts as I try to think back to why but I can't remember anything. Nothing. I only remember a terrible family night then going to sleep. But looking through the frosted window, I knew it wasn't that night. It had to be the day after family night- or maybe even days later. My God! I can't remember.

"_Are you hurt?"_ A boy's voice. A boy's voice? Who was he? It's deep, panicked.

"_No"_ It was too soft they couldn't hear me.

"_Open this door! I'm going to call the police."_ I can hear my mom now, she was upset but I couldn't move.

"_I'm calling 911" _

"_I'm all right"_ I called, no more. I should get out go to the door and stop mom before she reaches the phone but already her footsteps were distant. I jump then I hear the crack of wood. The door crashes open. I scramble, pulling my knees to my chest when I see who filled the doorway. Billy. Well I think that was his name. Pills crushed under his shoes as he quickly strides across the floor. To me.

"_Are you okay?"_ He asks worry clear in his tone and dark eyes. Dark eyes, I remembered dark eyes. But why? I looked at Billy before I remember that but-

"_I don't know"_ I answer truthfully. I couldn't remember a thing.

"_I'm sorry I said I didn't remember you when you came to see me today"_ He say as he places a towel around me, before getting another and slowly, softly starts to dry my hair. I want to move closer to him, to the comfort and warmth he offered. But why? I was scared. Why did I feel so close to Billy?

"_I came to see you?"_ I didn't think before I spoke, just heard my voice.

"_After you left I found this in my room this is us?"_ He had shifted as he spoke and pulled a small piece of paper and instantly recognised as a photograph from his back pocket. It was us.

"_I've been having some trouble remembering things"_ He says his cheeks darkening slightly.

"_Me too"_ I say breathlessly. We looked happy together. Happy. Really happy.

"_You look happy with me"_ He says as if he couldn't believe it was true. Neither could I. I don't remember anything and the slow burn in my chest of regret and yearning make me wish I could. I really wanted to remember how to be that happy again. And I wanted to be that happy with Billy. I wanted that more than anything.

"_Yeah I do"_ I smile slowly. My cheeks felt stiff but not as stiff as before, during the times I could remember, like I had been smiling a lot recently. But there was just one thing I had to ask.

"_Is your name Billy?"_ I feel myself blush.

"_yeah"_ Billy chuckles his towel clad hand slowly brushing down my cheeks to rest on my shoulder. I suddenly became acutely aware that I was naked, with just a towel around my shoulders. "Your Jenny right?"

"Yeah" I look to meet his eyes. They lock with mine. Something starts to build within me and

"Jenny?" My mom's voice intrudes and Billy removes his hand in a flash but as he moves further back closer to me.

**Billy**

The tub was sticking against my ribs and it hurt like hell, but I couldn't bear to be away from Jenny. I don't know why. Like I don't know why I knew where she lived. Like I don't know how I can't remember shit. I was clean that's all I knew.

"Jenny?" Her mom repeats giving me the evil eye. Again. She hadn't wanted to let me in the house so I had to force myself in. I don't know how but I knew something was wrong and the need to see Jenny wouldn't go away. "Jenny do you know this young man?" Please say yes. Please say yes.

"Yeah" Jenny's voice was quiet and huskier than earlier. Probably from what had just happened. My heart had yet to calm down from my earlier fear.

"Oh" Her mom seems to be taken aback "why didn't you say anything?"

"I don't know"

"Well I think we need to talk" Her mom gives me a look. One that said 'get the hell out of here'. Yeah right. Nothing could drag me away at the moment. Plus I think I lost the ability to move. My knees were feeling really weak and my head was light. Jesus I was a wimp.

"I need to talk to Billy mom" Jenny says and I turn to look at her our eyes meeting and like seconds before my breaths forced from my lungs. Her eyes were just so beautiful. Crap I sounded like a sissy.

"I'll be at the kitchen table" I hear myself say as I rise to shaky feet.

"Jenny-" Her mom is cut off by Jenny.

"Yeah, I'll be down in two minutes" I smile at her and then turn, her mom gapes at me. I smirk at her and then walk from the room. Fighting the urge to go back to Jenny and hold her tight. Instead I focus on the house and the strange feeling I had that I had been here before.

**A/N Bit of a filler, but hope you enjoyed. Next chapter the talk and some more development maybe even a new character. But things are going to move fast. Next update should be soon. Maybe even the tonight but probably tomorrow after that I don't know. **

**Special thanks to Ireth Tasartir Elf Princess whose review really motivated me. **

**Thanks for reading and please review. **


	4. The Talk

**Disclaimer I own nothing**

**A/N sorry for the long wait, have had exams and I started a new Darkest Powers fic.**

**Chapter Four; ****The talk**

**Billy's P.O.V**

This house was familiar. There was something about the soulless bland colours the empty seemingly unused furniture that triggered something in my memory. Not that my house was exactly a model house or anything but at least my house looked lived if. Granted by two piggy slobs but it was better that this. Never thought I'd say that since I had thought my house was shit hole for most of my life.

"Jenny will be a few minutes" Jenny's mom comes in making her presence and dislike of me clear.

"I guessed" I answer not bothering to even think of caring that she was looking me over, watching me like a hawk to make sure that I hadn't nicked anything yet. I bet she would be checking through the house that everything remained in place. Probably clean the house as well.

"How do you know my daughter- Billy wasn't it?"

"Yeah Billy, and I don't know how I know your daughter that's what we need to talk about"

"You...Y-you- you don't know?" Her eyes nearly popped out of her head and her cheeks go bright red. Well I suppose I could have lied.

"Yeah not a clue" I say instead childishly enjoying seeing her freak out. I know I shouldn't but then she shouldn't look at me like I'm scum just cause my hair is a little longer than the clean cut all American all Christian boys she was use to. And found acceptable to hang around Jenny.

"Then why did you break the door down to our bathroom?"

I resist the answer of 'just for kicks' and instead answer more reasonably realising that I kind of needed her approval to a least let me in the house again if I was going to continue seeing Jenny, and I really wanted that. I was in fact impatient to see Jenny again, how long does it take to throw on some clothes?

"Because I knew something was wrong"

"But how if you don't know how you know her?" I just shrug. Jenny walked in then saving me and her mom from exploding.

"Hey mom, I'll take it from here" Her hair was wet and already waving, her cheeks pink either from the heat of the bath, embarrassment as I'd just seen her naked (though from the photo and from what Mitch told me I'd already seen that), or more likely from coughing up all those pills.

"Jenny I don't think-"

"It's alright mom, Billy and I need to talk privately" Her voice was calm and sweet, ever so slightly husky.

"He says he doesn't know how he knows you" Her mom said it like I was either mad or dangerous which I was I suppose. Mad in what I was feeling. I mean who else felt like, more remembered a house they hadn't been in but not remember the girl they had slept with!

"He's telling the truth." Seeing her moms expression changed from confusion and anger to just plain anger had Jenny pushing her mom out of the door with the promise that she would be safe and that she would tell her everything after we had talked. Then she sat down on the kitchen chair opposite mine. Her eyes down cast.

"So" she starts.

"So" I repeat suddenly feeling at a loss. Well not really suddenly I hadn't know what I was fucking doing all my life, but even more so when it concerned Jenny. The silence was thick between us and it was causing me to twitch and since that wasn't cool I decided to speak. What I was going to say I didn't know till I opened my mouth.

"Killing yourself isn't a good move, trust me I know" Why did I say that?

"You tried to kill yourself?" She gasps her eyes going as round and large as saucers.

"Yeah" I hear myself answer. Shut up you twit I shout at myself.

"I'm sorry" She murmurs

"You didn't make me try to top myself" I answer feeling some sort of panic rise in me at the thought of her blaming herself.

"How do you know if you don't remember me?"

"Cause I remember the time before very clearly and you weren't even on my radar, well I knew you existed but we didn't talk. You wouldn't talk to the likes of me. It's after my over dose that things got, well, strange" I wince at every word that I said. Why was I such a fucking idiot?

"Well" Jenny clears her throat but then her eyes look up catching and locking with mine. I nearly gasp at the strength and the clearness of them, I remember them looking so sad before, the sadness was there now but contained like she was in control now. Wait before? Was my memory coming back? But that didn't feel right. This didn't feel like just forgotten memories this felt like something a whole lot stranger. "It seems we have something's in common. I don't remember ever speaking to you. All I remember before, well, a complete blank is bumping into you, dad picking me up, family evening and then waking up in the bath. Pills..." Her face had gone pale as she talked and I had the sudden urge to take her hand but I knew that wouldn't go well. "It would seem that we both lost our memories at the same time and it was during this time that we became close"

I blink at her choice of words. Became close. Did she feel what I felt then? That we were really close, knew things about each other that we could connect to? Well I knew we were close but she felt it. Then I hadn't taken advantage. Jenny had liked me. A girl as perfect as Jenny had liked me. A low life? I mean come on could this get anymore more Disney? Wait a second would Disney like my choice of language? Never mind that we- No stop thinking about it. It was starting to make me uncomfortable but did she remember that, Jenny didn't strike me as the sort of girl who would mention, sex. Looking at her now once again, thankfully, pink cheeks I decide not to mention it. Things were weird enough as they were.

"It would seem so" I say mirroring her words. We look at each other a little longer the silence once again settling around us. Though this time instead of twitch provoking it was thoughtful, till I once again broke it and like last time without knowing what I was going to say.

"So what are we going to do? I mean I can't remember how we met or anything but I do know I want to find out and well kind of erm" I clear my throat not sure quite what to say but unable to stop "still talk to you when I can remember" Smooth. Real smooth.

"Really?" Jenny asks

"Yeah" I scratch the back of my neck and resist the urge to run. Then Jenny beams at me and I feel my mouth drop open. She was an angel. "I want that too"

"Really?"

"Yeah" she keeps smiling at me and I feel myself start to smile back. "So well we really need to work out how we met, so would it be best to start with school. Ask around?"

"Wouldn't that sound a bit odd?"

"Is anything not odd about this?" She answers back catching me off guard and I laugh.

"Good point. So we ask around see what people know if they saw anything but I doubt they wouldn't have I mean us suddenly talking? It's noticeable. Then what?"

"Well as we do this we talk, get to know each other as I feel the same." I look at her blankly even as my heart has a fit in my chest, Jesus, what a girl I was. "Talk, Billy" she smiles at me. "If we don't find out anything that way, well we think of something else if that doesn't work maybe we can help each other remember" she yawns then and its then I remember what she had just gone through.

"Shit!" I say suddenly pushing back from the table nearly toppling my chair over in the process of standing.

"What?" Jenny asks looking up her eyes wide once again; she was cute when she was shocked.

"I'm here talking your head off and you just nearly drown in a bath! I better get going you need some sleep."

"It's ok" She starts but I cut her off.

"No it isn't. I'll see you tomorrow." I say nodding at her and walking to the door out.

"Billy" my name stops me. I turn back round rocking on my feet not sure quite what I was to do now. "Thank you, for today and well everything" She was looking at her feet her hair hiding her face.

"It's ok" I say feeling awkward. I mean I know she wasn't responsible for my decision to over dose but she had come to see me today, she had ran away crying. What if I was responsible?

"It wasn't your fault. I don't know why I did it but I know you weren't to blame. If anything it was my dad's fault"

I freeze at her words, all my body heat leaving me in anger, in stone cold fear. My heart hammers in my ears.

"Your dad?" I hear myself ask distantly over the erratic beat of my heart. As memories flash across my vision. Blood, pain, fear, screaming then nothing.

"Yeah don't worry- I'll tell you tomorrow" She smiles at me and that manages to break my immobility. I feel myself nod then walk back to the door. I mean she looked fine; she had no bruises on her. But I would watch for any sighs that he mistreated her. Anything, a hair out of place; one tear, anything no matter how small. And if he did hurt her I would hurt him.

"Billy!" I stop at the door but don't turn around. I don't want her to see my expression, because I don't know what she would see, ancient fear or new born anger?

"Yeah" I say to show I'm listening.

"No more saying you and me. It's us now, we are equal, I'm no better than you" I smile. 'It's us now' I liked the sound of that even if she didn't mean it the way I wanted it.

"Yeah whatever" I say as she was clearly better than me. "See you tomorrow" Then I open the door, and ride home smiling.

Sleep came easy that night, I was emotionally drained and thinking over and over about the last few weeks mentally exhausted me. And I dreamed of sweet desire.

**Jenny's P.O.V**

I smile as I close my eyes in exhaustion. Billy was right I was tiered. Billy my smile grows even as I fall asleep and into heated love filled dreams.

**Thank you for reading. Please review.**


	5. Public Reactions

**Disclaimer I own nothing**

**A/N sorry for the long wait, I've started uni and now I'm on summer break am working and working towards my bike licence. But want to get all my stories updates and hopefully finsished!**

**Public Reactions**

**Billy P.O.V**

I've never looked forward to going to school. I mean who in their right minds would want to go to school unless they were a geek? Seriously I have a shit home life but the thought of school still makes me groan and think of skipping, which is what I did most of the time. Except for those times when Mitch drove me to school and watched me walk in into homeroom, ever since the one time I walked in only to walk straight back out again and I found him waiting for me.

But this morning I was looking forward to school, I got to see Jenny again and well I only briefly experienced Mitch being happy before I fucked it all up yesterday and I wanted to make him like me again and thought school would be a good start. Last night when I got back I found the house ransacked and Mitch fuming. Since I couldn't remember bringing Jenny back one lunch he thought I was back on the drugs. Since I can't remember if I was or wasn't I couldn't say but since there were no drugs Mitch had to take my word that I was clean. But I still got a lecture and told that 'I once again broke his trust' and asked when I 'would ever stop fucking up!' I decided today was a good time to stop fucking up. So here I am at school on time, ok so I'm at the back of the school having a quick smoke to calm my nerves. I know I should quit and I did, well I think I have but I needed to calm down. What if Jenny didn't want to see me today? What if yesterday was a fluke?

"So what's it like banging a bible chick?"

"What the fuck?" I snap turning to face the arsehole who just spoke. I turned to see the leering mug of the ugliest and the stupidest guy in the whole school, not town as his father had that title. Mack McDougal, a lazy nasty piece of work. No one liked him, he had no crowd but liked to hang around my old crowd, thought he was tough just because he was the size of a truck and could take a few punches. He was actually too slow to lay any punches and was to unfit to keep going, plus if you could reach his jaw you realised it was made of glass. I'm speaking from experience, I can't remember how the fight started I was off my head but I do remember thinking David and Goliath, even though I'm considered tall at 6,2, I'm lean while Mack is well not to sound like I have a limited vocabulary but, Mack's a truck.

"You heard" Mack was smiling his fat lip wet "Bet she's a cold fish! Does she start prayin'?"

"Fuck off Mack and mind your own business" I snarl.

"Oooh defensive" He chuckles.

"I don't like to repeat myself" I say as my body tenses and I keep my hands relaxed fighting the urge to curl them into fists. No one talked shit about Jenny while I was around.

"Or maybe she's a fallen angel" His smile grows even wider at that, he had clearly thought about that for a long time and was proud of it. Since he repeated it twice more laughing. "Fallen angel! Get it?" I half expected him to wipe a tear from his eye. "She's a cute one, pretty hair, I've always seen her"

"Well you don't see her anymore" I warn my voice low.

"You can't stop me from looking…" his small piggy eyes sparkle with amusement as he pauses before saying something I know will have me reacting "or touching" He doesn't even finish before I've brought my knee up to his stomach, slammed an elbow around the back of his head and the slammed him against the wall my fist at his neck and just to make sure he stays there given him another good knee, this time to the nuts. His face turns chalky within seconds.

"You even breathe her way and I'll make sure you'll only be breathing with the help of machines. You touch her and I'll make sure you don't have a single unbroken bone in your body. I've beaten you once when off my head, I'm sober now. Do you understand me?"

"Jesus you're mental man!" Mack whimpers his voice a little high, I smile. "I was only joking with you!"

"Yeah? I don't find it funny." I slam him against the wall again before letting go. I step away and then turn my back walking towards the front of the school.

That wasn't the perfect start to the day, but it did let me know one thing. Jenny and I had been close the last couple of weeks and we had been close at school. But just how many people had noticed? I roll my shoulders as I walk through into the main corridor to my locker. I can't remember what had happened with me and Jenny but I can still remember my locker number, isn't that a little fucked up? As I turn the corner to my locker I see her talking to a cleanly pressed blonde dude. Shit! How many guys was I going to have to slam against walls today?

**Jenny's P.O.V**

Mom didn't want me to go to school today. She claims it was because of last night. That I needed time to rest and recover, but really it's because she doesn't want me to see Billy. I knew that since she asked me if I was going to see 'that boy'? I just answered yes and told her I would walk to school if she wasn't going to give me a lift.

As soon as I got into the school I was aware of the looks and the whispers.

"Can you believe it? I mean her and him?" Well at least Billy and I will have no problem finding out what we had done these last few weeks. My head throbs slightly as I get a flash of my dream last night. I couldn't remember it, only that it was very pleasant. I try to remember as I unlock my locker. I look at it in shock, there were about 20 books in there. Since when did I read that much? I look at the titles and smile, Wuthering heights, Emma, Great Expectations, Twilight, City of Bones, Mice of Men, Shakespeare a range of books that I had always wanted to read but were never allowed. I lightly touch the spine of one of them the cracked and crinkled spine showing it had clearly been read and enjoyed many times before.

"Jenny?" I look up startled at my name and meet the blue eyes of Jake. Jacob Bishop, aptly name as so many in the school liked to tease him. He was a member of my church and when he arrived 2 years ago I had felt for him when he was teased by some guys as he was cute with his blonde wavy hair and blue eyes. It was his hair actually that really attracted me to him, as the rest of him was all over groomed well-bred American boy, but his hair was a little longer than the other boys I was allowed to look at, it wasn't long or anything like Billy's but it still looked like a sign of rebellion. It wasn't till I got to know him that I realised he was the last person to rebel, ever. And since then these last two years I have spent my time avoiding him, but he was under the impression that next year when I could date I would be dating him. His confidence annoyed me.

"Jake" I smile a small smile, polite but one that did not welcoming a conversation. It was lost on him. He places an overly warm hand on my shoulder his touch just a little too heavy, it reminded me of my dad's little touches. Jake reminded me of my dad a lot in fact.

"I know it must be hard for you to hear all the whispers, but it's ok." His voice was I notice ever so slightly too high, after listening to Billy's deep husky voice Jakes grated. "I want you to know that I'm here for you. That I support you even though you haven't been to church meetings the last few weeks we are still behind you and that we don't believe these rumours"

"Rumours?" I question, not for the purpose of finding out what exactly they were but because he was seriously…pissing me off. I feel a small smile want to spread out on my face. Yes pissed off. I said it, well thought it, but yeah that was what I was feeling. Jake tilts his head to the side a small smile on his lips and a 'it's ok, you can be saved' look in his eyes.

"The ones about you and Billy, you know the boy involved in the rape trial, getting together. I'm sure there is a reason that you and him have been seeing each other, you're helping him with his school work, as God" he smiles here thinking he was being funny "knows he needs it. Or maybe" now his eyes fill with anger and protection he had no right to feel "he's forcing you into spending time with him, has he made you do anything …inappropriate? Are you ok? Shall I talk to him?" I open my mouth to respond but I didn't know what to say. How dare he…? How did he jump to that conclusion? Before I could get my brain working a deep voice replies.

"I made her clean my house, and mow the lawn but maybe asking her to get down on her hands and knees" Jake swings around to look, up I notice, at Billy at this his eyes murderous but then he tenses as he sees the look in Billy's eyes. His dark brown eyes normally a pure melted brown amber were black, but his face was relaxed he was even smiling slightly. "and get the stain out of the lounge carpet that s been there years was a little inappropriate, I mean it wasn't even me who made that mess it was my brother."

"You jerk" Jake spits.

"Sticks and stones" Billy shrugs "plus you're forgetting who I am, I've heard worse from people who mean more to me than you" Billy looks away from Jake as if he was dismissing him to me, his eyes lightening as they move over me, his eyes land on my shoulder when Jake had rested his hand. How much had Billy seen or heard? "You ok?"

"Yeah" I whisper feeling my cheeks heating for some unknown reason. I mean Billy and I had apparently been pretty close lately but I don't remember it and I have been looking at Billy for ages and now he was looking back, even rescuing me from Jakes boring conversation, plus I was never really allowed around boys that weren't hand selected by my parents. This was new for me. And Billy was so…cute seemed the wrong word, his strength, anger and dark looks were not cute they were sexy but the vulnerability I saw in his eyes last night was sweet. I realised then Billy was a lot more complex than anyone thought.

"What class do you have now?" Billy asks me, completely ignoring Jake. Who was puffing up his chest like a bird.

"Math" I reply feeling breathless. He had seen me naked! Suddenly the though pops into my head and I feel my cheeks really bloom with red. I must look like a tomato!

"I've got English" Billy moves forward, making a point of stepping around Jake, even as Jake takes a step to block him. "I'll walk with you" My heart thumps.

"Ok"

"Wait!" Jake calls as I begin to turn shutting my locker. "Jenny you can't be serious?"

"I'm serious" I reply before quickly stepping away a smile spreading on my face as I hear him stutter.

"We won't let you go! I'll be speaking to the church about this!" I feel anger build in me once again, I clench my fists.

"Oh fuck off" Billy sighs flipping him the bird as he then places his hand lightly on my back to push me forward. The touch was brief and light but it sent shocks through my body. I giggle.

"You ok?" Billy asks again this time with a deeper meaning.

"Yeah" I meet his eyes briefly. "Mom didn't want me to come to school today"

"She doesn't like me does she?" Billy smirks.

"No" I answer frankly "but I do so it doesn't matter" I gasp when I realise what I had just said. Billy laughs and my stomach flutters even as I watch his face relax and become something breath taking. I record the moment.

"Well I like you too" Then he sobers and we both share a look, and I know we were both thinking the same thing, how did we get to know each other?

"Have you heard the rumours yet?" I ask slowing down slightly as we were getting to my class far too quick for my liking,

"I don't listen to rumours if I can help it" No I suppose he wouldn't. "But I did work out that people think we are dating"

"Yeah that's what I heard" I come to a stop outside my class room door. "We just need to find out how and when we met"

"Lunch?" Billy asks "we can sit and listen at lunch if you want" he flicks his hair out of his eyes as he scratches the back of his neck. He was nervous.

"Yeah sounds good. It seems I haven't been to church group for a while. So I need to stop by there briefly. Just to let them know I won't be attending again."

"Is Blondie going to be there?"

"Yes, Jake's chairman"

"I'll come with you. I don't want him causing you any trouble."

"You don't have too"

"I want to and I'm not taking no for an answer I'll meet you outside the library"

"How do you know I will be at the library?" I ask confused. My heart fluttering, does he remember something? Or had he noticed me before we got together? Billy frowns.

"I don't know I just know you will be there" His frown grows deeper for a minuet his eyes distant as he's clearly lost in his own thoughts. Then he shakes his head, his hair falling into his eyes. He flicks his long fringe out of his eyes before smiling. "Maybe my memories are coming back to me."

"Yeah maybe" I say feeling suddenly awkward. What did I say now?

"See you at lunch" Billy smiles at me before walking away.

"Yeah see you at lunch" I call, I'm such an idiot! See you at lunch! So simple! God I'm an idiot and I bet he hasn't heard me. I was as quiet as a church mouse but just as think that Billy turns a crooked smile on his lips and nods at me in acknowledgement.

_**Lunch**_

**Billy's P.O.V**

"Well that went better than I thought it would" I say referring to the church meeting we had just crashed. We had headed their straight away ignoring the looks we got. Our arrival made me laugh a little it was like a film. The door burst open slamming against the wall, the door jammed so I gave it a good shove. Fifteen or so faces turned mouths hanging open. I cracked a smile. Jenny wasted no time in telling them she was quitting the club and they could go to hell. Well maybe not the last bit and she was politer but she didn't hang around. I didn't have to say or do a thing but get the evils from blondie. Who just sat there dazed. Then we high tailed it. Jenny looked a little shocked her skin pale and she was trembling slightly. I really wanted to wrap her in my arms she looked so small. So I told her she did well, that I wasn't expecting her to be so quick she surprised me by answering 'well I'm hungry and don't want to miss the good food'. I was not expecting that from her.

"Can I look at that photo again?" I nearly drop my coke. We were sitting under a tree that just seemed to call to both of us at lunch, we had discussed all the rumours going around about us, while we were queuing for food. None of it was any use, all people were talking about was how unsuited we were for each other, how it was doomed, how Jenny was bound to get hurt and was probably on drugs. I didn't like any of them. And none of them told us how we got together or why? The closet we got was that one day in the hall we just dropped out bags and ran for each other.

"Erm sure" I say pulling out my wallet where I kept it.

"Oh you have it with you?" Jenny seems surprised and I feel like I'm blushing. Jesus!

"Erm yeah" I pull it out and hand it to her, she saw it yesterday but she was in no state to realise what state we were in in the photo. "it's the safest place for it, my house is a shit tip" Well not at the moment it was as tidy as I could be bothered last night when Mitch told me to clean up. There was till stains and empty bottles just no upturned furniture.

"Oh ok" She looks at the photo then her eyes widen. "Oh my God! We- we're…naked" the last word was whispered her face was beet red.

"Yeah" I scratch the back of my neck

"Why didn't I notice yesterday?"

"You had just puked up a load of sleeping pills" I say bluntly feeling me ears heating thankful my hair covered my ears.

"Yeah" She mumbles "oh God" I hear her whisper I think more to herself than me. "So yesterday wasn't the first time"

"First time for what?"

"That you saw me naked" If I wasn't as uncomfortable at the moment as she was over this I would be laughing at her inability to say naked above a whisper.

"It was the first time I can remember"

**Jenny P.O.V**

"It was the first time I can remember" I shiver at his words; his voice was a deep rumble I felt all the ways to my bones. An image flashes in my mind, in a small bed with grey sheets, bare skin, hands and lips, happiness. It is gone before I can fully understand but I hear myself ask a question

"Do you have grey sheet covers on you bed" Billy's eyes widen before he nods slowly.

"Yeah, do you remember something?"

"Not really just a quick image. I think we erm, we definitely have erm" this was so embarrassing. And more than anything disappointing! I don't remember the first time! "slept together"

"Yeah I kind of knew that"

"What!"

"My brother walked in one lunch and found us" At the look on my face which I wasn't quite sure was, but must have been a mix of horror and embarrassment quickly rushed on "we weren't doing anything he only saw us after" He doesn't look away instead holding my gaze even though I want to desperately look away.

"Oh my God" I breathe. I don't know what I felt anymore, I was still embarrassed and disappointed but I was now panicking. Were we protected!

"I don't know" I hear Billy say and I realise I had spoken out loud. "I was going to mention it I swear. I think it would be best if we got tested. I'm sure I'm clean but I was fucked up, I didn't inject or shit like that or sleep around and always wore protection when I did. I mean I am a fuck up but I don't want my dick to swell up and stop working or shit so I was always careful, but I can't be sure." Billy was far too honest.

"Ok" I nod "well I can be pretty sure I was clean" I take a deep breathe "but we best get tested, not just for STD's but well I could be…" I couldn't finish the sentence. What if I was? What would I do? I couldn't just now, not with my parents and oh God!

"Pregnant" Billy finishes for me. His eyes remained calm while mine were bright with panic. He takes my hand his hands warm and slightly rough. It still managed to send a shiver of pleasure through me.

"It's ok we will sort everything out, we can go to the clinic or school nurse after school. We will be fine."

"Yeah?" Billy looks straight into my eyes and leans closer to me.

"Yeah"

"Ok to the clinic afterschool. I just need to think of an excuse to tell my mom. This would drive her over the edge" At this Billy suddenly freezes his hand grips mine tighter and his eyes grow dark.

"Is everything ok at home?" There was an undercurrent to his words which gave me a slight insight to his home life, the drugs weren't the problem for Billy they were his escape from his problems.

"My parents are getting a divorce" I start just before the bell rings "can I tell you more later, this afternoon?"

"Sure" Billy helps me stand up our hands still connected. I start to turn to head to class when he suddenly pulls me back. I stumble slightly but Billy's other hand catches me, holding me at my waist.

"I'll meet you at the gates?" his eyes were intense. I nod my fear about this afternoon suddenly disappearing. His eyes were beautiful. Then he suddenly leans down and I feel his lips sear my forehead briefly.

"Don't worry" He whispers in my ear before dragging me to class.

**Thank you for reading. Please review.**


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